In 1999 an autumn evening, I catch up with the draft in the home, east great makes the phone call to me to say: "The friend, I infers you, I must tell you an individual privacy, you reorganize well publish, lets the society know in the world also has such person." I busily asked that, "When sees, is in my family or in outside?" East great replied that, "In the family is not convenient, in outside!" Our approximately good time, place. Lays down the telephone I to ponder. East I was the little while ago know great. At that cocktail party, we sit on the identical dinner table. Knew him at the session at present or the unmarried person, the wife autumn died in 1997 in the south, the son was going to the elementary school.That very evening, I and east great reach agreement to a young garden in. In his mouth spurts the liquor to be mad that, in the hand also takes the bottle Beijing white liquor. I said to him that, "You or little drink a liquor, like this is not good to the body." East great said that, "10 years, I cannot leave the liquor. When just married, I drop the liquor not to moisten. Falls in love with that girl since the plum, the family does not like a family, the day does not like a day, I start by the liquor solution to worry. Afterwards, what could she unexpectedly not want, eloped with hers homogeneous lover south, I now at last knew the homosexuality the sentiment was great. Afterwards she has committed suicide, I only then reconsider, the person respectively is ambitious, the person originally should illuminate individual rule life to get down. At that time if I did not oppose her, she could not leave home to leave in a hurry; She must be able to face the reality, dares to see me, she also possibly cannot commit suicide. In the past I drank am find relief, now I drink am stimulate... ... "Thereupon, east great starts to me to speak the plum the story.
The wife is the homosexual
I discovered the plum has the homosexuality the matter is we marries the after 3rd year summer. At that time son just reach two full years old. I do the market in the enterprise to plan, frequently is not at the home. Some I come back from the outside areas, already is late at night past two. I have eaten noodles in the street earthen pot booth, went home. I was familiar with turn on the lamp, in the living room scene frighten me as soon as to jump, only saw the plum and a woman stark naked closely hugs in the same place. At that time because the day very was hot, also did not have the air conditioning under, compared the living room to appear cool, therefore I have not also cared about. By now the plum has awaked, with the woman which rested is also awakened with her. I busily the lamp 拉灭, Guan Haomen said that, "Did not fear that, is I. I to the bedroom in, you put on clothes!" They have all smiled, the plum said: "Was such late also came back, lived a night in outside." Told the truth, I really have not cared about at that time, I am not at the home to be able to have a woman to keep company to her, in my heart steadfast. But Mei Zheiju "lives a night in outside" the speech does not gather the common sense, I listen to in the back of the body not to be uncomfortable, but has not displayed. A while they each person put on to rest the skirt, also rested. I wash a bath, also went to sleep.The second day morning plum tells me, last night that girl was their company's staff members, was called young Wan. I said that, "You also sufficed to open, stark naked hugged in the same place, strange was intimate." The plum says with a smile: "How, ate does the vinegar? Did not forget, others were a woman!" This is I first time sees young Wan. Our family member courtyard in the suburb, behind the courtyard is small woods. One to the summer, here pair to the person which takes a walk are very many. After a day dinner, I prepare my mother there to look at the son East. Is in luck I to ask the plum: "You cannot go?" She could not say, a while has the matter. Actually noon she added she also goes, but this little while also could not say. I had not asked what matter did walk. Just went out the gate I to think that, plum this period of time were extremely unusual, evening always ran toward outside, was not said the company held a meeting, was said had the friend to treat, or said danced. This fellow had the extramarital affair? Thereupon my many minds, have not gone look at the son, but is turns back under the street opposite big tree to look several old men play chess. The street light although is extremely bright, but I stand in the shade place, the distant place is cannot see me. One side me the view chess, is looking the family member courtyard entrance at the same time. A while, the plum really walked, she has not certainly planned to dress up, or in room that appearance, also has not ridden the bicycle, but is the walk walks to the family member courtyard behind small woods. Saw Mei Zouyuan, I quietly with. Although I knew tracks the person is the not extremely civilized behavior, but thought tracked is own wife, in the heart is also confident. By now my heart raised Lao Gao, only feared saw I did not infer scene. Approximately walked ten minutes, the plum halted under a roadside tree, often had a look the table. I hide nearby a telephone booth, is waiting for. A while, sees a woman to push the bicycle to arrive in front of her, they said two speeches, that woman voluntarily the car lock in the roadside, the pairs person then hand in hand entered in the woods. "That is not young Wan?" In my heart said. I busily run, sneaks in the woods, although nearby here lover very many, I or saw Mei Hexiao wan in to be together intimate, in my brain dodged immediately a signal: Homosexuality! Mei Hexiao wan are the homosexuality! Saw they hug, the kiss appearance, I think disgusting, the gastric disorder, also a little corona. I do not dare to think that, my wife unexpectedly is the homosexual. An my tone runs goes home, sits in the living room the big mouth place gasps for breath. 1 past 1 o'clock, the plum came back. She sees me to sit in the room did not look the television does not read, asked: "What sends to be dull?" I ask her: "What did you do to go?" She as soon as smiles said that, "The unit has held a meeting!" In my heart understood. I said that, "The plum, that young Wan, are worth your such?" She listens startled latter one: "You track me?" I said that, "You must with a man appointment, in my heart possibly be able to feel better, because pursues the happy love is the way things should be. How but can you with woman such, you let me feel disgraced!" The plum said that, "Since you had known, I didn't deceive you, who both of us already also cannot leave who. You must agree, we or the good husbands and wives, you or agreed, we may divorce." I extremely am angry, we married for several years, did not have the love, not to have the sentiment also to be supposed to have the dear ones, again said the son also two years old. In order to young Wan this families all don't want? I suddenly thought stands woman which the wife is I did not know in front of me. Under I as soon as am mad, tidied up several clothes to walk. I as soon as live in the daddy family am ten days, two old people thought we have been angry, but also a vigor urges me to go back. Afterwards I only then knew, I walk the same day evening, the plum on was called young Wan to live together. Leaves in a hurry in me in the day, they always are together all day, food and lodging all in same place. After I know, is burning with anger, how also is unable to endure. I flush go home, hold on Mei Jiuda. She does not care about, also does not cry. The person often is this, when does not revolt by hitting, hits the person also unintentionally again to overcome. At that time young Wan also in the field, I asked her: "Your really who also couldn't leave who?" Young Wan nodded. I asked that, "Did you know this kind of behavior calls the homosexuality, at present cannot by the common people, accept by the society, not only I had known the opposition, was your family member had known also similarly opposed!" Young Wan said that, "The homosexuality how, was the homosexuality merely one kind of individual sentiment life style choice, also was not not the morals, also was not the crime, could not destroy your family, why did you oppose? You work as us are the good friend not must?" I am unable with them to converse, thereupon loudly said to young Wan: "You tumble out to me!" The plum actually loudly shouts: "Does not permit you to young Wan like this." My heart has been cool, I also am inferior to young Wan in Mei Xinli. Although like this, I or want to save the plum. I thought that, the plum now is one kind of morbid psychology, her behavior also is one kind of abnormal behavior, can save her or to save her for to be good. I have first asked for half month leave for her, lets her rest in the home. I have also rented many western video compact disks, lets her look in the home, intends to disperses her attention. I please look after her younger sister she, accompanies her to speak. I also as far as possible extract the time to accompany her in the home, recollected us together former days the love story. The start, small 11,000 days made several times of phone call toward the family in, the plum all are each time insane have resembled run answer the telephone, sometimes attained the telephone to cry. In order to does not let young Wan come the telephone to disturb her, we also replaced the telephone number. Young Wan visit has looked for two, all is scolded by plum's younger sister runs. We plum confinement, also has shut off her and the young Wan relation. Several days, the plum has not changed, liked the big sickness to be same, did not eat does not rest, did not speak, only was cries. Saw her this appearance, we love dearly do not have the means. One day, I get off work, just arrived the building road junction, saw young Wan with hair dishevelled to grasp me, implored: "Eldest brother, lets me sees me the plum elder sister, again does not see, I exactly have been inadequate." She was saying the double leg kneels down, both hands grasp my leg. I feared the others see, busily pulls up her to say: "I cannot satisfy your request, you walk!" Young Wan said that, "I knew you hate me, but the plum elder sister cannot I, she not be able to see I can die!" I thought plum these day own suffer own appearance, also loves dearly, thereupon said: "Tomorrow you will see her tomorrow!" Because of today plum's younger sister in here, she cannot let young Wan see her elder sister! Listens to the person to say that, young Wan were the female which has not gotten married, in company's people introduced to her very many boyfriends, she looked all had not looked said did not agree. I really feared the plum has an accident, because a her week ate the thing not well, had a fever when she did not take the medicine. I also bring back to the son East, but she sees the son to like has not seen to be same, 面无表情. I let the son call her mother, she does not comply. Looks such scene, I sadly passed. The second day morning, I to an office simple treatment matter, have been busy am catching up with toward the family, because yesterday I comply to let young Wan look at the plum today. When I walk to the entrance, has been scared, I was in luck the security gate which locked on the other side by the person to pry open. As soon as looked toward the room in that, the plum disappears. Does not need to think that, in my heart has understood for several minute: Possibly was Mei Hexiao wan elopes. At that time I thought that, allows nature to take its course, has any means, our all sorts of measures all could not rescue her, instead had the possibility to harm her, but also was inferior to let her seek so-called is happy. Afterwards I knew they have rented between a house in an East Gate yard, on "husbands and wives" life. How long doesn't have, look at her I to plum's company, only saw her face also white, the person has been also fat, the eye also had the appearance. Says from the humanity angle, is small multi-purpose lets her turn this, I also recognized. The plum says to me, so long as I do not interfere her matter, we or good husbands and wives. In the western nation, the homosexuality and the opposite sex love is equal, but is not good in our country, although in our country law did not think the homosexuality has the mistake, in the medicine did not think the homosexuality is a sickness, but nationality's moral standard is dissimilar, therefore the homosexuality is not accepted by the common people. Mei Hexiao wan all know this point. Specially after their matter spreads, they also thought is unable to live in Nanyang, although I no longer interfere their matter. In 1996 the spring, the just right plum was at the company benefit was not good, many people started to come off sentry duty, Mei Hexiao wan quietly left Nanyang south, went works. East great speaks of here, is long a tone, said: "My really beloved plum, she is when my love selects optiman. After marriage, I extremely love her. To the present, I also deeply deeply was loving before that plum." I asked that, "Has she to the south, why committed suicide?" East great said that, "Young Wan and she bid good-bye. Heard young Wan are meeting a Zhoukou's young fellow in there, two people were good. Afterwards, young Wan and that young fellow married, the plum has committed suicide." "Young Wan now where?" I ask him. East great said that, After "it is said and that young fellow marries, has lived a day in Nanyang. Plum's elder sister, the younger sister everywhere look for her important person, she has no way in Nanyang to live, has contracted several Chinese acres vegetable plots in the Zhengzhou suburb. You have empty the speech which goes to Zhengzhou, looks for young Wan, the plum in the south matter, only has her to be able to say clear."
Young Wan narrate truth
A Sunday morning, I have pressed the doorbell in front of an alone front gate. A while, the gate has opened, stands in front of me is nearly 30 year old of appearances rural women. I asked that, "Young Wan live here?" She downward as soon as hangs the upper eyelids, is looking at the tip of the toe as if, then said: "I am young Wan." "You -?" I do not dare to believe own eye, front this has in the field works the mark woman is young Wan? She short sends 过耳, the attire is ordinary, the foot puts on pair of flat base cloth cover shoes. The skin becomes dark, and is a little rough. She saw me to gawk, said: "Looked I had 30, actually my only then 26 years old. I pass also am extremely attractive, these years are weary to rush about, also have planted a year vegetable in Zhengzhou, can not be old?" By now I again carefully was taking a look at young Wan, the black facial cast was passing a beauty, under the long eyelash big eye was dodging the moving ray, could see, in former days beautiful young Wan difficultly live suffers, is beautiful and the youth gradually is vanishing from her body... ... I asked that, "You knew what I do ask you to do?" She said that, "Knew that, most recent east several days have great come, he all said to me. He said you must interview me." I said that, "We casually chat, said you pass and the present life?" Young Wan said that, "In the past too has been heavy, does not want to say, says the present!" She says to me, she now lives the house rents others, the husband also grows vegetables in Zhengzhou, but has bid good-bye. Why do I ask, she said: "He deceived me, I has not accommodated him. Simultaneously he has known my past, also did not allow me, we to bid good-bye!" I said that, "Can you chat you and the plum in south that section of life?" She said that, "I let you look like this the diary has calculated!" She runs to the room in, puts out a diary, said to me: "That section of life all nearby here, you looked has known!" When delivers me to the entrance, she has supplemented: "You must write, write an alias, do not write us really famously."Under, chooses several young Wan the diary. On June 1, 1996 clear extension rainWe come here already for more than two months, had not found the work. These days, scratch the leather shoes I to the central square, the plum go to a Henan restaurant to do the casual laborer. I one day can make 50 Yuan, the plum probably make 30 Yuan, but the hotel provides food. Now I start to reconsider, calmly gets down the brains start to consider us at present the situation. Both of us all have the work in the home, the wages although is not high, but the fixed income can cause our each person calmly and steadily to live. The plum has the family, has the husband, has the child. We for not normal physiological demand but regardless of all consequences? After arrives here, we rush about start to look for the work, in the south, meets the finance and accounting specialized person to be many very, moreover the employment advertise unit all must have the undergraduate course diploma and meet the person which the computer operates. This causes us to work road unusual narrow, the belt money very quick all spends, the situation which sits idle and eats makes us to have to step onto the street corner to seek the way out. Every day evening we all come back very much late, we in again also do not have the fervor together. Today rains, I come back sooner, has made a phone call to her, she said the restaurant is very busy, possibly wants 1 past 0 to be able to come back. Today is the child festival, morning the plum has cried, she said she a little thinks of the son. Actually, I already knew she thinks of the son. Every day early morning she goes to in front of the restaurant, all must stand in the opposite street west red leaves kindergarten entrance has a look. We did not understand to today that, what do do we to this city. We too were naive. Front comes, was thinking the south city everywhere all is the gold, only then knew to here, here gold is such is difficult to wash. The plum evening 10 and half o'clock only then came back, pulls me to cry. She said she has not gone to work tomorrow, because of that restaurant boss for her 坤表, said together so long as complies his request, lets her manage, she rejected. On July 20, 1996 was clearThe time one passed daily. The plum left that restaurant very many days. I have urged the plum, in order to survive, so long as does not come really, you may tow boss to do for a long time. The plum has hit my, several days pay no attention to me, I knew this all is good for me. To today, she had not found the work, every day she and I arrive the square to go together flatter to the pedestrian. Flatters divides three scales: Generally flatters only receives 1 Yuan, thin scratches receives 3 Yuan, 上光 fine scratches receives 6 Yuan. The average people all are thickly scratch, only receives 1 Yuan. Only has boss, the belt girlfriend's male worldly person scratches. These people do not care about the money, said receives 6 Yuan, mostly gives 10 Yuan. But the plum is not willing for these people to serve, frequently has the contradiction with the customer. I knew that, this is her psychology not balanced performance. In the home, has the husband to gather round her, has the colleague in the unit to cater to her, she also is frequently comes in and goes out the big hotel person. She had said most looks down upon serves young lady, may at present, serve in here company young lady's position also not to mix. Scratches the leather shoes for others specially is scratches the leather shoes to the woman, in her heart is not more balanced. This afternoon, the plum has not gone to the square. I do afternoon past 6 o'clock, then arrives the person which the fast-food restaurant entrance gives eats meal to flatter. Today fortunately, the income has 80 Yuan. On September 27, 1996 was cloudyThe plum now selects besides the evening for me warm, daytime what doesn't do. She takes "Homosexuality in China" to look all day. I also scratch the leather shoes in the square to the pedestrian. These days, have a Henan the young fellow always flatters toward my here. Because is a fellow villager, I little receive his money, he instead gives me the money. Recently, he daily afternoon past 3 o'clock came. He said to me, he in an opposite square street restaurant works as wheaten food skilled worker, the general afternoon 3 o'clock gets off work, 6 goes to work, this middle is all right does. He is the Zhoukou countryside, the high school graduates, is called the Yang photoproduction. I tell him, me am Nanyang come, for runs away marries here to make a living. I also tell him, comes here also to have together to do the elder sister. I tell this story time, the young fellow hears very earnestly. After he listens to say to me that, how you such attractive girl can obey family member's blind direction, you escape are correct. Day before yesterday, he told me, him also is for runs away, in the family which the marriage came to him said a young girl, he did not agree, came out works. Thereupon, we had the common language. Yesterday, he asked for leave, accompanies me to eat meal to a restaurant. After the food, we watched a movie. Looked when movie, he has held my hand, I have not moved. Former days, the man held my hand I to be disgusting, yesterday, also somehow, I tacitly approved. When he holds my hand, I am a little excited. I am clear very, we fell in love. Yesterday I went home very late, Mei Xiang examined the criminal equally to examine me, I told the lie to her. Today the plum looks like does not feel relieved me, also arrives the square. But she does not work, only reads. Afternoon, the Yang photoproduction has come, the plum looks at him with the hostility vision. On March 10, 1997After Spring Festival passes, I and the Yang photoproduction loved very much deeply. The year ago, the plum had also found a work, is in an office works as health worker, about monthly salary 1,000 Yuan. Like this we were economical in everyday spending, had the accumulation of funds. In front of the Spring Festival, the Yang photoproduction puts out 15,000 Yuan, we put out 10,000 Yuan to open between a shoe store nearby the square, mainly sold the cloth shoes and the water shoes. Although cannot make the great money, but can Gu Zhuoben. Usually mainly is I and the Yang photoproduction management, his hotel lived has also resigned, put the main energy in the shoe store. The plum sometimes also comes, but she did not agree I and the Yang photoproduction contact, actually, we have loved by now very much deeply, had achieved the difficult shed to be difficult the situation which leaves, I one day do not see him to want to result in very. After had the true love, I only then knew the matter is the how absurdity. Now Mei Yi and I live apart, she lives in the house which originally rents, rent by me. I and the Yang photoproduction lives in the shop, we have become the husbands and wives. For this matter, the plum extremely hates me. I have urged her, either goes home with the husband becomes reconciled, either again looks for. She has hit an my ear and the area around it, I have not hit back, because I know her now the pain. Looks the plum present the appearance, in my heart is also uncomfortable. On September 9, 1997 had the rainThis half year, does the plum and my nobody speak with who, on her her class, I open my shop. I to Mei Songguo the money, she do not want. Each time sees me, she all is scolds me, hits me. Her point of view a little changed. Previous month I and young Yang have carried on the marriage registration through the relations to the subdistrict office. After the plum knows, cries loudly, two days have not gone to work. I knew I have injured her, but is me not to regret like this. Falls in love with the man, now at last is the true love. Today the rain gets down, morning business instead is good, because has many people to buy the water shoes. Noon, the plum arrives in the shop to say that, "I returned to Nanyang, you could not return?" I said that, here business is also good, does not want to return. Also, cannot return also must listen to the Yang photoproduction. The plum was mad the complexion turns white, sneers, 茶瓶 as soon as fell the shop in, walks. Evening, the plum committed suicide. We frighten a night not to rest. On September 25, 1997Plum's suicide vibrates very in a big way to me, I knew she is for me. She frequently said to me that, "The husband, the child, works I all not to want, for is and you relies on one another defends, but you have actually betrayed me. I do not have the escape route, also does not have the way, only some as soon as dies." I urge her all day, but she or cannot look on the bright side of thing, finally has stepped onto the dead end. Mei Sihou, I gave her the husband to make a phone call, tells him Mei Yi to commit suicide. Her husband said that, "Her early party steps onto this road!" I asked how the bone ash does manage, her husband said: "First puts on the south, when do you come back while convenient bring back to the line." Mei Sihou, we also unintentionally do business in here, wants to return to Henan. The Yang photoproduction says to me, he has a relative in the Zhengzhou suburb not to want to plant the land, wants to contract the vegetable plot, we was inferior to the year's end Zhengzhou grows vegetables. I said the year's end said again. On September 7, 1999Mei Sihou winter, I and the Yang photoproduction returns to Nanyang to live for two months east, while convenient also bring back to plum's bone ash gives is great. East great grasps the bone ash, cries loudly. Can see, east is great is the deep love plum. But east great has not blamed me, this causes in my heart to be restless for a very long time. Who knows the plum the younger sister always looks for my important person, said I killed her elder sister. I feared the Yang photoproduction knew my past, quietly and he came to the Zhengzhou northern suburbs to grow vegetables together. The start, we live also very tranquilly, also is very happy, I already did not fear the work, did lives the useful vigor. Soon, our vegetable plot suddenly has come a woman, is leading a boy, front saw Yang Guang borns with the child advances said: "Is called the daddy!" Then points at me to say to the child that, "This is your wild mother!" I have been startled, busily asked Yang photoproduction what is happening, the Yang photoproduction grasps to squat the cabbage geographical features. I had understood, the Yang photoproduction continuously is deceiving me, he said he has not married, but his sons all 67 years old. No wonder his half year returns to native place in the south, originally is looks for him first wife madame. Under I as soon as am mad, holds Yang Guang to born with hits, he does not hit back... ... Afterwards, his first wife madame did not know from where understood to mine history, she all told the Yang photoproduction. The Yang photoproduction picture changed a person to resemble, said I was the homosexuality, but also hit me, and said: "You walk, has lost face with your day!" How was I? The destiny opposes with me, did I how turn the third party by a homosexual? I really did not know how manages only then well. I want to consider his bigamy crime, but I cannot. How considers him? Considers him to be able to change my destiny? Afterwards, I was unable to treat again in Zhengzhou, a person returned to Nanyang. Not exactly does me on the pedal tricycle, sells the vegetable, anything does. Second half year, the company rechanges the system, I returned to the company to go to work. Several years 风吹雨淋, the date exposes to the sun the frost, I completely turned a peasant family woman... ... Attaches records: I earnestly read the young Wan 400 diaries. After ten days, in me planned also return to the diary time, east great make the phone call to me, said young Wan died. Young Wan walk very much peacefully, has not brought to how many people's attentions, also the unusual person tracks down her cause of death. She and the plum composes a tune elegy quietly scatters on such in the city sky... ...
Expert review
Overwhelming majority person's sexual desire direction opposite sex. If the sexual desire direction homogeneity, has the sex act with the homogeneity, then is called the homosexuality or the homogeneity orientation. If sexual desire and natural activity both directional opposite sex and directional homogeneity, then is called the bisexuality or the pair of nature orientation.At the sex act, the male and female homosexual has a more obvious difference. A masculine homosexual's natural impulse more normal person is more intense. Thus, the natural activity frequency and the natural companion's number more normal artificial are many. They gather at the park, the public toilet, the bathhouse (in some countries may in homosexuality club) in the carrying on activity, are mutually many is not acquainted with one another. Between them the natural activity often is meets by chance, then respectively rushes afterwards the thing, no longer communicates. Only has the minority person to maintain a longer time the sexual relationship. Feminine homosexual's behavior and masculine homosexual different, between them relations extremely intimate, the sentiment real, deep and was lasting, has like an unreasoning passion woman to find an ideal man, was loath to part from each other. Thus, between homosexual's sentiment kills often occurs to the female. In this article, plum's death belongs to female homosexual's committing suicide together in the name of love. But the young Wan death, cannot say has not related with hers homosexuality experience. The reader may feel from this article to the feminine homosexual's sentimental world.
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